Post #331 Tonight on the Phone

good night, my name is timothy. i am your boyfriend. can i help you, baby?

timothy satyaabieza

i just watched up this morning with erc jesbon gleny at my house and then again. i cried over and over, because the film was incredibly sweet and lovely.

after the film, all i want to do is hug timothy and just tell him how thankful i am for him being in my life. how wonderful he is; making me happy and taking care of me even when i am in my upmost annoying and/or just getting cranky for no apparent reason or making him mad.

he is awesome! most wonderful! kind! smart! adorable! and i love him so much! :)

Post #330 Another Piece of Wishlist

after two-three times watching carrie underwood’s cowboy casanova video on youtube i made another wish list, LOL!

  

yes, i really love black! all images got from looklet and topshop :) they’d all be really nice christmas presents :)

Post #329 I Have The Best Grandparents!!!

well, yesterday when i just got home, my grandmother gave an authentic new still-neatly-in-the-box-with-the-fancy-cover-bag christian dior bag!

OMG! she already has it but never use it so she gave it to me. haha! cooooooollll! i have a dior bag!

to be honest, my school bag (the black one) is prada and i have a cute pink chanel clutch bag. and i’m very proud of them. they’re so cute and adorable :)

and to be more honest, i completely love them. i don’t use or buy uber branded stuff all the time, but i when i got them i am really grateful. i don’t like them because they’re fancy and expensive and exclusive, i like them because they really are beautiful, probably also because i can’t afford to buy such stuff so what i have given to is something really precious to me.

nonetheless, i do nothing but do them good :)

Post #328 The Reason…

… i want to have my mirrors back clean neat and perfect is because when i look at it, i’m not alone.

i have my reflection to look back at me.

it’s sad and desperate, but now : i am.

Post #327 I Guess It’s Me?

i see a girl sitting alone in the dark

her laptop turn on, seem to be working on something important

her lighted cigarette dimmed the darkness, small red light every now and then

her phone ring, but she neither answer nor even care

why would she? no one care about her anyway

 

i see the girl close her eyes

just for a moment, smoke her cigarette

it burns a small red light, close the lid of her laptop

yes, i guess, she was done

her phone ring again, but she neither answer nor even care again

 

i see the girl open her eyes

she cries as she make small clouds out of her cigarette

 

she is not working

her laptop never turn on

her phone never ring

her cigarette never lit

 

no one even care about her anyway

 

why would she care?

why should she live?

why should she dream?

 

she just want things to end

 

she is not dreaming her dream

she is not living her life

she does not even live for herself

 

yea, she lives for others

other who loves her, they say

 

all she want is herself

 

so she lit her cigarette

 

and smoke another one

AGAIN

 

the end

and now she’s dead

Post #236 Big Bang of Mixed-Up Emotions

you feel you’re not wanted anywhere

yes i do feel like that

in this big festivity big party it is like being alienated

and it just grows even more each day

and there is a certain kind of ignorance from a certain rather-leave-unnamed-person

i feel more unwanted

and yes i am sad

Post #325 Is This Thing On? Good. Play.

it is 7:38 pm as i write this sentence, and i already in my pyjamas (read: timothy’s FUCK TERRORIST t-shirt and loose leggings) and i am SOOOOOOOOOOOO SLEEEEEEPPPPY. so i’m going to post two more looklets then call timothy then go to bed.

aren’t they cute? well, i think so :) the first one got inspired from karolina kurkova :)

 

well, if you read my last tweet for today on the right side panel and understand. i’m not going to apologize ever. i really am happy and excited and so supportive no matter what :)

Post #323 Looklet Again!

oh, now, i have a craving to be a stylist (like my style any good at all *sigh*). well, i don’t think that i dress soo badly. i dress good, i guess. especially lately, on few events, i managed NOT TO WEAR JUST SHIRT and JEANS.

my latest favorite was GONZAGA OPEN HOUSE day 2 (where i ate a lot lot lot of food!). we have to wear batik so i wore my grandfather batik shirt tighten with a batik belt (i have a very cool cute batik belt) and my ONE AND ONLY skinny. (i apologize to my friends, you all already saw it sooooo many times. but that’s the only one i have; can’t afford a new one right now).

looklet is a place where i can freely combine things i like (and want to have and wear). yea, someday i wish i can have those clothes. it’s all very lovely :) these are few of my creations:

well, i’m going to post some later. oh my gosh, those are beautiful clothes. want to have ‘em :)

Post #322 Kenapa Ngga Mati Aja Sekalian?

anjing! hari kedua di rumah = breaking point! i’m about to die of boredom!

gue pengen marah-marah terus. ada yang tau ngga sih rasanya, berhari-hari cuma disuruh tidur doang di rumah? mau nyari kerjaan biar ngga bosen, disuruh tidur. giliran udah tidur, dibangunin disuruh makan. gimana ngga bawaannya pengen marah? TAIK! ANJING! BRENGSEK! gue bosaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan parah kenapa ngga mati aja sekalian?

pas udah baikan dikit, tiba-tiba sakitnya kambuh parah. ke dokter lagi, hasilnya beda. antara gue komplikasi, ganti penyakit, atau dokternya yang goblok. ANJING!

i’m super bored, super lonely, super mad, super sad, super want to get out of the house.

dan orang-orang yang malah meng-update kejadian apapun yang sedang terjadi di sekolah dimana pun, atau apapun yang bakal dilakukan hari ini, malam ini, besok; SEJUJURNYA, TIDAK MENGHIBUR!

Post #321 Recipe for a Nice Disaster

well, i’m not going to talk about disasters. my dear liver is already disastrous. it’s just sound perfect as an eye-catching blog title :P

i’ve been changing my hair treatment and now, finally, i find the perfect combination.

1. shampoo : dove hairtherapy (for dry hair and dandruff occasionally).
2. conditioner : dove dry hairtherapy
3. music-therapy : mozart for babies before bed and michael jackson every morning and SORE every afternoon nap

i wash my hair every afternoon, so i go to bed with light hair. and in the morning i roll up my bangs for about 30minutes. those treatments actually make me feel good about myself after. those music are also good for the hair. even in the worst humidity, my hair rarely go bad during naps/sleep listening to them.

i just got off the phone with timothy’s mum, she was really nice asking me and offering me help about my dear disastrous liver. i love her so much :) i feel happier than before. it’s so nice, i just can’t stop smiling. it sounds crazy, but… i don’t know what to say more. she’s awesome! the most awesome!!

i still pissed that i’m sick and the fact that I HAVE TO STAY HOME until MONDAY! i’m just so sad that my friends had worked really hard for gonzaga festival, and i can’t be there. now, i just want to rest so i can enjoy and be there for timothy’s special work day : GONZAGA FESTIVAL CLOSING. it’s his special day, i want to be there; so i have to be better by then.

thank you so much : Jesus, my grandparents, tante ine, timothy, everybody :)

Post #320 The Best Thing About Not Going to School

is you don’t get tired. you get bored, but not tired.

today, i’m sick so i’m not going to school. the doctor said my liver is f*cking sensitive and i need not to be tired. the area where my liver is PAINFULLY PAINFUL and, yes, come to think of it, timothy is right. i’m not in a tip-top shape for GF. :’(

so, i am entertaining myself by making a wishlist

1.   a panda
2.   timothy satyaabieza’s hugs
3. BUBUR AYAAAAAAM!
4. a cold beer
5. go back to bed :)

Post #319 Gonzaga Festival 2009 : Opening

it went well, but damn shit i am sick! (i’m using present tense as i am still sick right now; please get well soon my precious liver). i was sick so i went home waaay earlyyyyy!

i got sick almost immediately after the opening ceremony ended. exactly, i think, when timothy was done with his work for today. then, i fell drop dead in room 4.

i cried a bit when i was told (actually being convinced) that i am sick. but, timothy took a really good care of me; I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUUUUUUUUUCCCCCHHHHHHH!

over all, opening was great. GFPS did well for opening. but one thing i am MOST DISAPPOINTED : somebody misspelled SEMINARI WACANA BHAKTI on the defile board. and today is KOLESE GONZAGA and SWB’s 22nd birthday. i was, truthfully, terribly sad for it. it’s a small thing, but for me, it’s important. it’s a name; it’s something you’re known for. maybe yes, you can’t see it from afar, but just please next time EVERYBODY look at the smallest details.

personally, i don’t think that GF opening (although it’s superb) was an appropriate way to celebrate gonz and wb’s birthday. GF is big, it’s cool and i’m very supportive of it all the way.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEMINARI WACANA BHAKTI AND KOLESE GONZAGA!

Post #318 Ever Since This Morning…

… i really want to COOK! and i did this morning. i woke up a little extra early and took a fast bath. and then i cooked a plate of spaghetti special for timothy! :)

i really love when the salty sweet smell flew all around the kitchen. leave it up and put the sauce in a plastic, then got ready for school. after that, packed it all in a lunchbox and then inside a paper bag.

i felt really happy cooking for timothy :)

Post #317 Morning Sickness

noooooooooooooooo, not because i’m pregnant. but my stomach is just being naughty these past couple of hours (read : 5hrs). i woke up at 3 in the morning because my stomach really hurts and i want to hug timothy. after two minutes, realizing that my stomach hurts not because i’m hungry.

wish : i want to eat mushroom cream soup with bread and then do nothing all day.

reality : i have to walk to the supermarket to buy me a mushroom cream soup and cook it by myself and do the math homework.

right now : hot tea with honey and blogging :)

i really do want to hug timothy. LOL, hugs and kisses maduuu!