Post #374 (Can Anybody Find Me) Somebody to Love

this is actually a really hard very clingy complaint to God begging for a lover. i know looking for a boyf or girlf is not a walk in the park, but even more i KNOW and UNDERSTAND what’s clingy and spoiled means.

don’t beg for what you want by bragging your hard works. that’s a work of the pathetic loser. it is not sincere. when do something good for someone, don’t think what they can give back to you but think of the good feeling after you done a good deed or help another.

when something tells a bad news to you, it’s not a bad news if you don’t want it. don’t let one bad news ruin your whole day and your perspective towards relevant things – or the thing that is most important: when a door of opportunity closes, another opens.

okay, back to the song. the glee version versus the original QUEEN version. different, of course. they have pluses and minuses in so many ways. but if you’re like, you like theater music more than rock or whatever QUEEN’s genre is, you love the Glee version more.

that is exactly how i see and in love with Glee! it’s a very affordable-so-close-to-home version of Broadway. and storyline relates to a high school student like me. i mean i’m not overly achieving like Rachel or pregnant like Quinn, but as a high school viewer it’s real. the other high school teen-overly-dramatic show i watch is 90210 and sometimes, it’s just plain ridiculous and they’re too beautiful (and OLD) to be high school junior (yea, they’re still juniors if i’m not mistaken-___-“)

okay, back back back to GLEEEEEE! honestly, i have nothing else to say but one: THIS WEEK EPISODE ROCKS! the mash up of the boys uber cool! the girls too, but the boys win hands down! haha, there’s so much coming to write about GLEE!

Post #374 His Name is Timothy Satyaabieza :)

again, had a nice day with him today. and after going out, i got tired and was a little bit feeling under the weather. and trough the phone he listened my review of the day to find out what’s wrong that made me sick. i don’t know, but that’s sweet.

today is probably the last holiday – although we still have tryouts tomorrow and monday – until, like, April. but it was splendid. we went out to buy string for his guitar and a new bestfriend  for him, a slide ring to play with his guitar.

in all words, he’s a great guy. with all of his plus and minus, he’s all he is. i love him :)

i love you honey :D

Post #372 Call Me Old Fashioned…

… but i really think school is for STUDYING. and a student’s goal is to get good grades, good experience, and good education.

i saw somebody’s twitter complaining and being emotional about the average grade for softball players at our school is 75, that is ridiculous. yes, you want to play, but you go to school NOT TO PLAY, to study! you have to balance school and after school activities. what good do you bring to your almamater if you have tons of achievements but failing grades?

RUBBISH!

really, i’m an old-fashioned conservative student. why? because my grandparents work very hard for giving me the most wonderful education possible. my way of appreciating that is to fulfill the only thing they ask: be the absolute best and study hard.

if i do want to add on after school activities for and it has a minimum grade average, i’d worked for it. SO I EARN IT! not easily achieve it.

work hard and earn for what you want!

if you don’t like it, WALK OUT of this fine institution.

in a lot of ways, i am so much disappointed i can’t experience pater sigit’s era as headmaster. he really is a good person with fine vision-mission and point of view of GONZAGA. he’s the one person who can turn around its AWFUL CHARACTERISTIC developing right now.

Post #371 Ten Months, Hon

i don’t want to write a lot, i’m so sleepy and tired. i just want to share how wonderful it has been for the last 10months we’re together and the past year we’ve been best of friends. and wonderful is not just the sweet romantic love but also the numbers of world wars we put on each other. experiences and obstacles helps us back then and still now.

truthfully, we get on each others’ nerves, but through that we learn, we understand, and we live.

i really don’t want to write a lot, because what i am feeling right now is not crappy indescribable but it’s just something even if i put it in a zillion words nobody else can never understand. it’s our own feeling. ours.

he’s a very special person, he is. i’m not saying this just because i’m your girlfriend and because of that i see everything of you as wonderful and perfect. even if i am nothing in your world, timothy, you’re smart and enthusiastic and a hard-worker and kind and caring. i can see that before, and now that i’ve got a chance to know you much more better (add that i love you so so much), i know that’s true.

truthfully again, i’m almost in tears right now. happy tears. i’m thankful for us, i love you.

terima kasih sudah mempertegas, abe :)

Post #370 Still: Norak Mode On!

okay, i really have to must to blog about this:

CONGRATULATIONS for Bernardus Bayu and Jessica Indriani!!!!!

best wishes and luck and love for you both :D i love you guys!

 

for me, I LOVE YOU TIMOTHY SATYAABIEZA :)

Post #369 The Good Dies Young

to a lover,

darling, you gave me the best musical three years of your life. the moment i first held you in my palms, you were so sweet. you still do. i remember every moment darling, you and i shared.

somehow, today, when i saw you black, i knew that’s it was time darling. it might seem i didn’t fight or try to do you any good darling, but i just knew.

you were always a surprise for me. you were my surprise. you still do.

the very special place in my heart for you will forever be yours darling.

laurenzia’s iPod nano 2GB silver, march 2007-february 2010

Post #368 Being Honest

i want to apologize..

to GOD, i do believe you. but i closed everything when you come answering my knock on the door and then blame it on you. i’m sorry.

to my family, i haven’t been grateful for everything all you’ve done for me. and for wanting not to grow up. i’m sorry.

to timothy, i’ve been so selfish and self-centered and hard-headed and cold-hearted. i’m sorry.

to erc gleny jesbon, for running away and being lost these couple of weeks (maybe months). i’m sorry.

to everybody, i’m so sorry.

* * *

i don’t know. i’m not feeling well.

i’ll never be the same if we ever meet again

if we ever meet again – timbaland feat katy perry

Post #367 Little Do You Know

and yet it’s true

that i’m mighty proud of you

geppeto

Post #366 PICTURES!

so long since i updated this blog. please, DO BLAME THE STUPID TRYOUTS AND EXTRA-CLASSES! they’re good but it took too much, we practically have no refreshing. our energy is sucked up in all that major subjects and we have nothing to runaway to. and now, the one and only subject that we get good scores and F*CKING UNDERSTAND about is also being taken away by putting a VERY SUPER ANNOYING BITCHY teacher.

well, rather than complaining about this awful awful routine at school, i’d like to post something great that turn all of that into an enjoyable experience! :D

timothy satyaabieza – maria gabriel laurenzia luna :)

Post #365 Yellow Daisies

my grandmother mocked me for loving yellow daisies because it’s the cheapest flower in the shop. i don’t give a damn. i don’t care about the meaning either (which is Innocence, Loyal Love, I'll Never Tell, Purity).

i just want it because it’s beautiful. i see it as a beautiful thing.

i’m so tired listening to “she’s prettier than you” or “why couldn’t you be as smart as her?”. i don’t care about the pep talk that comes after. those are shits.

i feel insecure when those words come out from anyone to me. even if it’s a joke, personally, it brings me down. i may be on all-smiles-mode but i just feel insecure. i’m not pretty and don’t know how look pretty. it makes me feel like an unwanted outcast.

it’s hard to make others think that i’m okay. so far there’s only one person who could see far pass my i’m-okay'-laugh-a-lot face. my grandmother always told me that crying and sadness shows that you are weak, and when you’re weak you wouldn’t stay alive in this cold heart world.

yea, raised to be competitive in all nature since you were born IS NOT THE BEST WAY TO RAISE A KID! it’s okay to be competitive, but not in all aspects of life. it’ll turned out like me, don’t be. i can make it to the top with the principle: crack a few eggs to make an omelet. got it? yea, don’t.

Post #364 I Need Your Help!

for no apparent reason i just need an opinion:

1. brownies (with or without marshmallows)
2. chocolate cream pie
3. peanut butter cupcakes
4. chocolate truffles

just which one yummiest and best? :D hehe comment back if you please :)