my grandmother mocked me for loving yellow daisies because it’s the cheapest flower in the shop. i don’t give a damn. i don’t care about the meaning either (which is Innocence, Loyal Love, I'll Never Tell, Purity).
i just want it because it’s beautiful. i see it as a beautiful thing.
i’m so tired listening to “she’s prettier than you” or “why couldn’t you be as smart as her?”. i don’t care about the pep talk that comes after. those are shits.
i feel insecure when those words come out from anyone to me. even if it’s a joke, personally, it brings me down. i may be on all-smiles-mode but i just feel insecure. i’m not pretty and don’t know how look pretty. it makes me feel like an unwanted outcast.
it’s hard to make others think that i’m okay. so far there’s only one person who could see far pass my i’m-okay'-laugh-a-lot face. my grandmother always told me that crying and sadness shows that you are weak, and when you’re weak you wouldn’t stay alive in this cold heart world.
yea, raised to be competitive in all nature since you were born IS NOT THE BEST WAY TO RAISE A KID! it’s okay to be competitive, but not in all aspects of life. it’ll turned out like me, don’t be. i can make it to the top with the principle: crack a few eggs to make an omelet. got it? yea, don’t.
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