well, the biggest happening in the world right now is “that thing” in south africa, oui? ja! so why don’t i talk about it a bit here ;)
i’m soooo much in love with shakira’s waka waka which is the official theme song for the 2010 world cup :) but it’s not what i’d like to talk about here. i watched the video clip few mornings ago and i can finally understand what a goal meant for the player.
truthfully, i watched football and, of course, waiting for goals. not because i’m rooting for a certain team or the beauty of the goal itself, but the expression of the player who made the goal; a goal is a present, gift, to his country. he’s proud of where he comes from and, even more, proud that he can give that same feeling of proud. he gives back.
i guess, to this day, people laugh when i answered i want to be president. they laugh even louder and with a sarcastic smile they’ll say, “good luck with that” when i promise that i can change this country, to the better. i don’t disagree when some of my friends want to leave this country of ours because there’s nothing to miss about or be proud of. but then, some of them would say that it’s impossible to change. it breaks my heart (i’m not being hyperbolic or anything, but i do) to hear that. yes, i know change is big. hell, we’re talking about indonesia, it is MASSIVE. but if every single person is just going to all busy wrapped up in disappointment and give up, of course it’s hard because no one believe that the impossible can be done. i believe that and i’ll do that impossibility.
honestly, i have this “spirit of nationalism” because i feel that indonesia is a one thing that i’m proud of and feeling this way closes the gap i receive all my life of being a disappointment (or a result of a misact by my disappointing parents). i feel empty, truthfully. i don’t have parents to come home to or to make proud of. hell, i’d rather die than make them proud, what do they did for me if i do such a great deed? that’s why i fill that emptiness with indonesia, the closest thing i can understand and always here with me all my life.
i may be selfish, obnoxious, loud, and over-emotional but i’m no idiot. i’m not dumb. and hell thanks to bad parenting i know betrayal, hatred, lies, loneliness, and all other horrible things one should not learn by the age of seven; i learn it through the hardest way of being loved and not being loved. reading about how hard heroes fought and died to bring independence and a glimpse of dignity to this country, i just feel guilty if what they had worked hard for forgotten just like that. what they had fought for is not something that last forever without perseverance from us right now. it does not going to run on itself, hold on to it and steer.
#nowplaying dream on by aerosmith :’)
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