Post #422 No Mountain Too High, No Ocean Too Wide

 i remembered being oh so bored in that damp classroom. didn’t know what to answer more, i merely depending on lady luck.

i don’t want to go out first. then, in front of me, somebody got up and went out. ah, what the hell, i followed.

no more interaction that day, but it was you.

recess bell just rang, people running around like chicken. i was by the door.

you stopped, oh honey you paid attention to a little bit of change.

yet who are you to me that day? we were friends.

we still are

class list.

me: “who the hell is timothy satyaabieza?”

oh, it’s you.

everyday would be like this:

me or you: i have to tell you something!

then we would spent the whole period doing nothing but chat all the way.

something, more something-s, more something-s.

we’re bestfriends.

i can list it all, dear.

your seventeenth birthday present, valentine’s night, school, classes, countless of precious moments.

my bestfriend slapped with the reality that i was falling for you.

“3, 2, 1, see? he’s coming over to you”

really? never believed it, but yea you actually did

so i said to myself, i like you; hell, i’m gonna love you ;)

to this exact moment, everything’s too sweet to write in words.

oh dear, you know i’m not the mushy gosh-i’m-in-love girl on those romance movies.

i’m just not.

i just freakin’ in love with you dude ;)

Post #416 AAAAaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggghhhh is Appropriate

i woke up this morning with a very horrible uncomfortable feeling and i’m pissed all day long because of it. and add that, at only 9am i was curled up in my grandfather’s bed with a blanket, tearful eyes and pookie to wipe ‘em, my blackberry to bitch about it on twitter, and A HORRIBLE PAIN SHOOTING TO MY STOMACH AND CHEST.

grandpapa was out at the time. grandmama was apparently too busy shouting here and there about what the hell my sister’s boyf doing in her room. because my stomach just too upset to care about it so i decided not to give a damn about it.

well, my dear readers, you can truly see that i am not in the best mood: take a look at my language! so here’s the story about my bitter mind and body …

it all started on a very big day in gonzaga, especially for my friends who’s been working awfully (yes, indeed the work was awful) hard on that some say big event. it was only the opening. before the ceremony started, i sneaked passed my ultimate boss to do a very stupid thing: touch the minister’s car (RI 14; he was barely a week in his post as minister!). *oooouukkkaayyy, this is not an important detail*. skip to the chase, after the opening ceremony which i spent recording WBSO under the very horrible heat, i went to look for timothy because i was terribly dizzy and when i found him my head was just awful and he was yellow (well, i saw yellow spots around him, so yes he was yellow to me). i went home sooo early that day and off to the doctor.

“liver. rest, no school. be back here next week and i live in the same neighborhood as boediono.”

crap!

it was november 3rd, 2009. went to school on the 5th to take a remedial test and the rest was hell. sum it up, made it back to school after a week bed rest (which a week should be a month; so timmy said and later the doctor).

well, that resulted in massive weight loss, loads of nights on the bathroom floor (literally!) throwing up, weeks of not drinking milk (this is hell for me: milk is the main source of my appetite and weight gain), and all that yada yada …

“upper right side of my tummy just below the right boob. and when that hurts, it would go right through to the chest and the most awful nausea.”

#nowplaying california gurls – katy perry; #nowwatching twitter for blackberry & blackberry messenger; congrats to miroslav klose, podolski, matthew upson; good luck for frank lampard; the ref, may you go home in one peace, dude –> twitter ain’t your friend on this match.

Post #414 Funny Chicken Wing Flap Thing

well, the biggest happening in the world right now is “that thing” in south africa, oui? ja! so why don’t i talk about it a bit here ;)

i’m soooo much in love with shakira’s waka waka which is the official theme song for the 2010 world cup :) but it’s not what i’d like to talk about here. i watched the video clip few mornings ago and i can finally understand what a goal meant for the player.

truthfully, i watched football and, of course, waiting for goals. not because i’m rooting for a certain team or the beauty of the goal itself, but the expression of the player who made the goal; a goal is a present, gift, to his country. he’s proud of where he comes from and, even more, proud that he can give that same feeling of proud. he gives back.

i guess, to this day, people laugh when i answered i want to be president. they laugh even louder and with a sarcastic smile they’ll say, “good luck with that” when i promise that i can change this country, to the better. i don’t disagree when some of my friends want to leave this country of ours because there’s nothing to miss about or be proud of. but then, some of them would say that it’s impossible to change. it breaks my heart (i’m not being hyperbolic or anything, but i do) to hear that. yes, i know change is big. hell, we’re talking about indonesia, it is MASSIVE. but if every single person is just going to all busy wrapped up in disappointment and give up, of course it’s hard because no one believe that the impossible can be done. i believe that and i’ll do that impossibility.

honestly, i have this “spirit of nationalism” because i feel that indonesia is a one thing that i’m proud of and feeling this way closes the gap i receive all my life of being a disappointment (or a result of a misact by my disappointing parents). i feel empty, truthfully. i don’t have parents to come home to or to make proud of. hell, i’d rather die than make them proud, what do they did for me if i do such a great deed? that’s why i fill that emptiness with indonesia, the closest thing i can understand and always here with me all my life.

i may be selfish, obnoxious, loud, and over-emotional but i’m no idiot. i’m not dumb. and hell thanks to bad parenting i know betrayal, hatred, lies, loneliness, and all other horrible things one should not learn by the age of seven; i learn it through the hardest way of being loved and not being loved. reading about how hard heroes fought and died to bring independence and a glimpse of dignity to this country, i just feel guilty if what they had worked hard for forgotten just like that. what they had fought for is not something that last forever without perseverance from us right now. it does not going to run on itself, hold on to it and steer.

#nowplaying dream on by aerosmith :’)

Post #413 THE CLAW

i’m not going to make a review of the movie, let it speaks by itself.

what’s cool about the third installment of toy story (which I waited for 11 fucking years!) is that what andy’s going through with in the movie really relates to what’s going on in my life. he’s off to college and wood buzz and the gang become the representation of part of our life that we have to sort; bring it with me or just let go and move on.

why did i put the quote from that three three-eyed little aliens as the title? the claw became the shine of light in the movie. dear lord, they gave up to the incinerator. they are going to burn to ashes. they just bluntly sat there waiting to be destroyed; together all in all. and then those petite little aliens brought the claw to the rescue.

how you take this lesson is all on you :) for me is NEVER TO GIVE UP and however hard the obstacles in store for you TRUST YOURSELF IN GOD :)

this movie will speak on its own and means on however one takes it so i will not say anything about it. it means to me personally and it’ll be my own little adventure. you go watch it, not just promotional here *i work with neither disney nor pixar :9* i’m the kind of kid who grow up with disney movies. they practically raised me to be who i am today (practically because my own parents never spent a second on bringing me up). that’s why this movie is my own personal adventure and joy. i’m sorry, i just won’t share it :9

“he’s been my best friend ever since i could remember” andy on woody.

Post #404 Then Billy Brown Fell In Love With Another Man

noooo, i’m not going to blog about some gay relationship.

after a month hiatus, finally i am back to this blogging world. honestly right now i have no idea what to blog about LOL! but this would be just an home-coming post!

as i am writing this i’m watching this crazy man doing a roll on his bed through webca, hahahahaha!!! LOL ;)

truly deeply honestly i  have no idea what to write.

i didn’t sleep at all last night, went to bed at 5.30AM and woke up late in the morning :P

well, tomorrow i have this thing at school so have to wake up early (uuuh, i don’t want to, can anybody wake me up?)..

#nowplaying billy brown; artist: mika; album: life in cartoon motion!