Post #357 LOL! Design Design and that’s about it!!!!

well, the previous post was a little bit harsh but i’m not taking it down. NEVER!

just to say – damage control much! – i’m not having an emotional crisis or breakdowns, i’m perfectly fine&calm&whatever-else-maybe-related-to-yoga.

i was just making some looks on looklet and this morning alone i made 4 looks, got 11hearts+10good job comments for all of them. that’s not much but there are people who thinks i’m good. that just encourage me more and more to design. graphic (and maybe fashion someday!). i love it so so much.

i made my own barbie dresses when i was in the 3rd grade. all of them are pink but i sew it myself and everything. i customize few of my current clothes as well, but i never took credit of it. i just say to people my grandmami/mom did it or i just bought it somewhere. i don’t want to encourage myself on a dream that, they say, i-should-never-had-them in the first place.

i am so grateful for what i’ve got. damn it, i got a scholarship for college! although it’s not something big in this house (my grandpa and both of his daughters all had scholarship for college. my aunt even have a master’s degree in england!) i think it’s some sort of tradition, good to be in for it as well. great, yippeee!

well, who am i trying to kid? everyone who knows me best would read these 2 posts and say: what’s wrong with u? r u okay?

damn it, i got an answer to that: just a mere looking back and reflecting on how selfish i’m being. i have a  voice and i’m going to say it. this blog is the one place that i can really just pour out whatever without a care in the world. this is the only thing that can not talk back to me. well, my cigar won’t talk back to me either, but i’m going to be more healthy  haha! the last time i smoked was the second day of gonzaga open house, HONEST! although, i just bought a pack of marlboro light, there’ll be no need of that. just buying it gave me a guilty-pleasure feel of comfort.