Post #354 Black and Mourn : Abdurrahaman Wahid

Abdurrahman Wahid also known as Gus Dur, formerly the fourth president of the Republic of Indonesia, passed away December 30, 2009 at 18.40.

today, dearest Indonesia has lost one more great minds. he was our president, he was a great leader, and he was a devoted muslim.

i was still so young and naive and had no clue what he’s doing when he was president and i don’t know what to reminiscence. but i know, then and now, that he’s a person who stood up for what’s right and was not afraid to speak his mind. he had ideas and opinions, he voiced them out.

quoted from vivanews the brilliant mind passed away with his wife and youngest child by his side. and – this is amazing -  at the time, president susilo bambang yudhoyono and mrs. ani yudhoyono were there visiting him. he passed away after being hospitalized for five days.

mr. gus dur, sir, you’ve done your works here and now you’re going to rock it with the others brilliant mind who passed before. rock on!

Post #353 Ben by Michael Jackson

Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With my friend to call my own I'll never be alone
And you my friend will see, you've got a friend in me
Ben, you're always running here and there
You feel you're not wanted anywhere
If you ever look behind and don't like what you find
There's something you should know, you've got a place to go
I used to say, "I", And "Me"
Now it's "Us", Now it's "We"
Ben, most people would turn you away
I don't listen to a word they say
They don't see you as I do I wish they would try to
I'm sure they'd think again if they had a friend like Ben
Like Ben, like Ben

i found my ben and i just pray to God: i don’t want to lose him, please take good care of him.

Post #352 A Small White Piece of Paper

my aunt diah, a nun, sent me this alongside her christmas wishes. i missed her so so much. lately, i just want to be with her. she makes everything me okay again even when all my life is crashing down. also, maybe because she’s a nun, i really feel that Jesus is extra close to me when i’m with her. i just want to tell her everything, and she will make it all better.

i dreamt about her these past two nights. how pretty she is, how brilliant she is, how funny she is, how perfectionist she is, how annoying she is, how cute her laugh is, how warm her hugs are, how much in love she is with Jesus, how she horribly-hard cook just to make me eat vegetables and that’s sweet.

tonight i miss her so much. more than ever. this is what’s written on the card she sent me:

ya tuhan,

kami berdoa supaya Ibu-Mu yang tersuci

merangkul semua imam

di bawah mantolnya

dan melalui perantaraannya

menguatkan mereka dalam

pelayanan imamat mereka.

kami berdoa supaya maria membimbing

imam-imam-Mu

untuk mengikuti kata-katanya sendiri:

Buatlah apa saja yang dikatakan-Nya” (Yoh 2:5)

Semoga para imam-Mu

mempunyai hati seperti st. yusuf,

suami murni maria.

semoga hati maria yang tertusuk

mengilhami mereka untuk memeluk

semua orang yang menderita

di kaki salib.

semoga para imam-Mu suci,

penuh dengan nyala api cinta kasih-Mu

tanpa mencari apa-pun

selain kemuliaan-Mu

dan keselamatan jiwa-jiwa.

Amin

St. Yohanes Vianney, doakanlah kami.

Trappist Gedono

well, i could never be a pastor. i’m a girl. and the world know very well, i could never be a nun; i don’t have any calling. i know it’s not my calling to be a nun. since i was a kid i know i want to have kids, be a mom :)

i know why she sent me that prayer. there’s a seminary at my school. she prays for them, my seminarian friends, i know she does. i guess, it’s a way of her to tell me to do the same. i am going to, i will.

this prayer, her timing and her choosing, is what i need most during the most difficult time of my life. it’s very hard for me to not think about it. i don’t want to talk about it.

i dedicate this post for her – my aunt diah – and my seminarian friends, frater and pater at school, and whoever else moved by this simple play of words. one more, dedicated to a certain friend and his 100%-spirit to be what he wants to be: i can’t hate you – after reading this, i could never hate you – we will stay friends and act like nothing happen. my support and prayers are with you always, i said that and that’s true. just please don’t hurt me, anybody, or yourself. and don’t be so hard on yourself, at least i know you that well to know you always do that.

this is exactly what she makes me feel&do and i hate that in the end she’s right, i feel better. and i just glare at her with lovingly-hatred look while she laughs evilly-and-happily. this is somewhat her way to make me do the right thing – calm down and pray – and feel better. i love her with all my heart so so much. i miss her here.

 

Post #351 Honestly Honestly

i kept it because i find comfort with it.

i keep my promise. promise me you keep yours.

Post #350 2010 Resolution

okay, the new year 2010 is ringing in so very sooon! as 2010 coming in, i have few things i’d like to accomplish for the next 12months:

1. i’m already accepted in Universitas Pelita Harapan with SCHOLARSHIP (thanks JESUS!!!!!!) so i’m going to do so good and well and awesome during college and just be the best :) i’m planning to be real serious on college and just studying! (to be honest, my family can’t afford if i don’t help myself up with grades so that after bachelor degree i can go anywhere :NETHERLAND: on bigger scholarship! :’) LOL!)
2. graduate from Kolese Gonzaga with top grades. my target: AT LEAST, top 10 IPS!
3. (wishlist): to have my grandparents called to the stage during graduation because i accomplish something good (like highest mark in english UN. i’m just being realistic here, i’m freakin’ good!) :’)
4. get a job during free time after exams and before college (maybe continue teaching @PJJHS or photography somewhere)
5. timothy to accomplish in everything that he wants to achieve
6. buy meself an iPhone 3G! (that’s why i want a job in the first place. i want this so bad and so determined to work to have one)
7. (this is one of the most important of all resolutions) GRADUATED FROM SENAT KOLESE GONZAGA 2009/2010 hahaha! i love you all so much : danu almo putri raissa rosa andriy aby kezia manyu endar | you guys are the best set of leaders ever! i’m going to miss working and having fun with all of you :) best wishes for dearest senators ;)
8. be more more more good on photography and blogging!
9. be more more more good in taking care of meself and dress a lot better ;)
10. JAVA JAZZ 2010!

Post #349 Operation : New Hair Cut

it’s still a phase in progress. timothy just approved the idea to cut my hair :P

actually not really a new hair cut, but a new bangs. i woke up few days ago and just wanted a hair cut sooo much! and the two inspiration for new bangs is lady gaga.

like many people in the pop music industry, i am one of the people who’s gone gaga over the lady ;P on her bad romance (which is my this week favorite song!) when she stands in front of a mirror dressed in all black with a big sunglasses, her hair (esp. bangs) looks sooooooooo cute! love it love it love it. that’s my choice number #1 for new bangs :D

hope it’ll be a good one :P LOL!

okay, i promise promise to continue the LDK story sooooon ;) TTYL, luna.

Post #348 A B C D E F G

sebelum gue melanjutkan cerita LDK gue mau iseng :P

RULES: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to copy-paste this note, and answer all the questions. At the end, choose 15 people to be tagged - including the person who tagged you. (To do this, go to “notes” under tabs (+) on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, paste the questions, answer the questions, tag 15 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

ABC About You Questions:
A - addic: my Vaio CR 323
B - BIRTHDAY: august 12
C - CRUSHING ON: elvis presley
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: water
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: my besties :)
F - FAVORITE SONG: (right now) LADY GAGA
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: gummy bears :)
H - HOMETOWN: jakarta, indonesia.
I - IN LOVE WITH: timothy satyaabieza
J - JUGGLE: no
K - KILLED SOMEONE: thinking about it :P
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: jakarta-lampung
M - MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: vanilla
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 1
O - ONE WISH: iPhone
P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: timothy satyaabieza
R - REASON TO SMILE: happiness in the world!!
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: bad romance – lady gaga
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: today, 9 am.
U - UNDERWEAR COLOR/PATTERN: today, black bra and pink undies
V - VEGETABLE(S): i’d rather not
W - WORST HABIT: MESSY
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: beginning of 2009
Y – YOYOS ARE: never had ‘em
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: leo

Random Questions About You
Spell your name without vowels: mr gbrl lrnz ln
What color do you wear most?: black
Least favorite color?: red, i hate red!
What are you listening to?: britney spears - 3
Are you happy with your life right now?: yesss!
What is your favorite class in school?: art. get to be in one class with timothy and sleep :P
When do you start back at school/college?: 13 july
Are you outgoing?: i guess
Favorite shoes?: converse
Where do you wish you were right now?: with timothy and khairina anindya (miss them terribly)

THE CANS:
Can you dance?: sort of
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: nope
Can you whistle? NGGAAAA
Write with both hands?: bisa sih bisa. bagus sih ngga
Walk with your toes curled?: sakit

THE HAVES:
Have you ever been on a plane?: yess
Have you ever asked someone out?: yaaak!
Have you ever been asked out by someone?: yes
Have you ever been to the ocean?: yeah
Have you ever painted your nails?: pernah kok

THE WHATS:
What is the temperature outside?: panaas
What radio station do you listen to?: don’t really listen
What was the last restaurant you ate at?: samabara
What was the last thing you bought?: timothy’s xmas gift
What was the last thing on TV you watched?: jack in progress

THE WHOS:
Who was the last person you IM'd?: khairina anindya
Who was the last person you took a picture of? : orang-orang di LDK
Who was the last person you said "I love you" to?: timothy satyaabieza

CRYING SECTION:
Ever really cried your heart out?: yaa
Ever cried yourself to sleep?: seing
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder: yaaa
Ever cried over the opposite sex?: yaa
Do you cry when you get an injury?: iyaa (masih kok.. takuuuuuut)
Do certain songs make you cry?: yaa (klo situasi mendukung)

HAPPY SECTION.
Are you a happy person?: yeaa.
What can make you happy?: many things.
Do you wish you were happier?: banget
Can music make you happy?: OF COURSE.

LOVE SECTION.
How many times have you had your heart broken?: buat apa diitung juga?
Have you ever loved someone so much that you'd die for them??: maybe. gue blm pernah mati kok

LOOK AT ME.
What is your current hair colour: hitam kecoklatan
Current piercings?: ngga ada
Have any tattoos?: akan. maybe this summer.
Eye color?: brown

THIS OR THAT
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
McDonald's or Burger King: McDonald’s
Single or Group Dates: single
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
Strawberries or Blueberries: blueberries
Meat or Veggies: meat!
TV or Movie: both.
Guitar or Drums?: guitar
Adidas or Nike: nike
Chinese or Mexican: mexican (we are talking about food, right?)
Cheerios or Corn Flakes: corn flakes.
Cake or Pie: BOTH
MTV or VH1: MTV.

Post #347 There a Lot of Ideas

well, at first i was going to write about lady gaga. but then, i have better more creative ideas to share with my beloved readers in here.

as i was going through some photos on facebook, i realized that i haven’t shared anything about LDK. it’s a wonderful leader-learning experience, i mean professionally for me it’s wonderful. personally, how to say it? i guess, it’s three nights of hard-to-forget memories.

day one for senat is saturday, december 12 2009. after try-out, we were busy with personal matter of our own. we were supposed to go together to my house and go to the place from my house. aby went home first and was going to meet up at Bambini – the place – later at night. andriy went shoe shopping with dino and fr. khrisma. danu putri raissa had lunch and i was with erc, we were waiting for almo. he had something to do until 2pm. when erc and i were hanging out by the seminary (hoping to see lauren, actually), almo told us to go without him because he’s going with andriy. so danu putri raissa and i prepared to leave. and it RAINED! so we waited more (like waiting for almo was not long enough) and then we went to my house.

when we got to my house, we set up the printer and got everything set up. so we waited for abe (he was going to drive us), andriy and almo (again!). grandparents hooked us up with dinner before going while we waited for andriy and almo. aby already called few hundreds times to ask when we were going to go. then, andriy and almo arrived! andriy took a bath and lost his keys first before we went. danu putri raissa and i were in abe’s car while almo rode with andriy.

first stop was blenger then bambini. when we arrived there, abe didn’t stay :( he had dinner to go with his family. we got to know all the guys – vau and his friends – and then we watched persib vs sriwijaya (it ended with the score 1-1). andriy aby almo had dinner and then almo started on his calling history he had to do. whoever able to stay up late stayed up late that night. i went to sleep quite early. almo was the last to sleep.

that night : SO DAMN COLD! at least for me, it really really really was cold. i slept with abe’s flanel shirt (a thick one) as blanket and almo’s WBSO jacket as pillow then blanket. still so cold :’(

everybody slept well that night. eventually i did too, i got comforted (first ones, it was okay) and then fell asleep – at least my hands weren’t so dead cold for a few minutes, they got cold again however. we were dead asleep and just let the night watched whatever happened.

to be continued…

Post #346 Falling In Love All Over Again

when i came, his smile is the one that greeted me

and his smile is the only thing i’ve been thinking about

through all the noises, his voice is the one i recognize out of others

and his voice is the only thing i’ve been missing

when i was looking for him, he came and held my hand

and it was a dream come true

when i was thinking of going some place else, he asked me to stay

and i did, just for him

i promised him i would never leave him, i support him, and i love him

and he smiled

_______________________________________________________

when i was in the 9th grade, my teacher asked to the students who is Jesus for us in our life – other than being God – and how much He means for us.

i answered Jesus as a parent-like figure who would never leave me and how much i’m so in love with him. i’m not the person who goes to church every sunday, but i know i can talk to him whenever.

he’s very special and forever will have a very special place in my life. i like it very much when i treat him special, because i know i’m his special one too.

i secretly read my friend’s writing and he said that he believes God would never leave His children. i do believe that as well.

i know i could fall in and out of love, be happy and heartbroken. but nothing could be more special than the love i shared with Him.

MERRY CHRISTMAS :)

Post #345 Okay, Massive Blogpost Attack

this is the i-dunno-how-many post today!

my knee is fucking hurt! it's supposed to be my ankle that hurts, not my knee (although i am informed that they are closely related :P ). the last time it got so hurt like this was the night after LDK, i couldn’t move myself from the floor to my bed.

i’m just afraid if it’s still hurts like this, i couldn’t drive :’(

oh my s-*t, it just got hurt again.

TTYL, blogpeople :)

Post #343 Overly-Christmas-Excited

i am soooo excited for the spray-painted-gold shoe box lying in my bed right now. it’s going to be filled TODAY!

i know i shouldn’t post this. this is a kind of hush-hush project i’m doing :D i’m so excited!

BTW, i think timothy is still asleep :P

Post #342 I’m A Gadget Freak

it’s not exaggerating, but i am a total geek! i just love gadget and techs :) they’re the most awesome thing in the world (this, i’m exaggerating).

okay, as promised (sworn) by me and timothy : we will not use blackberry’s and if either one of us use it, we’d have to throw it (not away just down to the ground).

so here’s a list of better smarter phones than blackberry – which is definitely more efficient and functional than blackberry.

1. iPhone 3GS
2. Sony Ericsson Xperia X10 [link]
3. Sony Ericsson Satio [link]
4. Motorola Dext (well, this just goes number one on my graduation gift list :P)
5. MOTO Q9h (this is my grandpapi’s phone. LOVE IT!!)

i’m not saying that BB are bad or they’re going to take over the world – heck, they already did – but i’m just saying that BB are a very enormous trend which will go away eventually. my grandfather had been considering BB since its first coming to Indonesia when i was in the 7th grade i guess. it’s an old thing caught up in late publicity.

the outburst of web-based social network communities like facebook, twitter, myspace, even blogger (hell, i have them all) or even instant messaging services like YM, MSN, iChat, etc. mixed with the need of modern community for more up-to-date all-access device to facilitate them push companies to fulfill those needs.

but from what i see – a mere guiltless observation – that our community (read: INDONESIA) is not being open minded for this mass act of globalization. looking at this easier access to the wider web, the world NOW HAS NO BOUNDARIES. countries collide into one giant nation. that is a great thing but, yet, indonesia is not being mature and open-minded about it.

stupid competitions of markets and social peer pressures over trends. technology is not being used to its maximum capacity. IN INDONESIA RIGHT NOW – ESPECIALLY THE YOUTH, THE NEXT GENERATION OF LEADERS – IS WASTING WHAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE A FACILITY FOR A SERIOUS MATTER. world unity can be achieved through these wonderful devices extraordinary human minds had created. but all i’m seeing is that people just got over-addicted to the thing it becomes a waste.

agerecontra : seeing something in a new point of view, from a different direction. i learned about this during LDK from the team i observed, Alpha. looking at this techie matter from a new direction got me this post. it’s a worrisome matter and it should be fixed. it’s the next batch of leaders we’re facing at. if it’s still going through like this : this generation i’m in now IS NEVER GOING TO BE READY for what reality has in store in the future.

___________________________________________________________

yaa, saudara-saudara, saya menghujat. not because i can’t afford blackberry’s (it’s true, i can’t afford it) but because i have a voice and i’m concern. i’m a gadget freak but i’m a Pancasila-freak even more. everything that i do is only for God’s and my Nation’s greater glory. that’s what my school taught me : PRO DEO ET PATRIA.

i used to write posts and writings of things that caught my mind, things i know i have the right to voice it out loud. i have the facility to say my opinions while there are many others who doesn’t. i’m not going to waste mine in some crappy sad-ish posts of tangled emotions i created myself.

i used to write my opinions on things when i am bored and i’m going to do that again. haha! LOL!

and just a fair warning : i tend to be harsh on certain matter ;)

Post #341 Dilemma

Christmas is coming and that always means grandmami nagging me about what to wear! my god, it’s the most high-rating cat-fights you’d want to see.

well, for christmas eve mass (which i’ll be attending SWB’s at my school) she wants me to wear a dress because my family have a party after. i’m not saying i won’t but kind of embarrassed. i mean, my schoolmates (mostly SWB’s) never seen me in a dress. i just feel it’s kind of awkward.

it’s like the first time ever i dress up in front of timothy. for example his dad’s birthday, UPH interview, didut’s birthday (we both wore black!), and whatever else i dress up for. i’m still kind of feel weird. i’m still shy-shy :D

okay, third hiccups this morning. SHIT! be right back for a new post :D

Post #340 Oh My Gosh!

i had sudden flash of memory so i googled thomas sangster – the boy i’m in love with in love actually who ran in the airport for the girl he loves – so adorable! i opened his wikipedia page and he’s playing PAUL MCCARTNEY in NOWHERE BOY.

it’s a movie about john lennon’s childhood and, practically, about him growing up. well, I HAVE TO WATCH THIS. sangster is in it!

and the lucky boy playing mr. lennon is aaron johnson – he played young eisenheim in the movie the illusionist.

oh my gosh! nowhere boy is definitely a movie i have to watch!! both actors are the love of my movie life from two of my absolute favorite movies! incredible :) and i’m sooo movie-in-love with them both!

for heaven’s sake, it’s about john lennon, so i can assure myself : i will not be watching this one alone :P (love you so much darl) :)

okay, this is the first time EVER i have written about the beatles. well, this post is not actually about them but relevant. relevant.

Post #339 Do You Have Underwear On, Miss? Would You Like to Find Out, Officer?

that title just came into my mind while watching 16 and pregnant commercial. i don’t think or them as sluts. they just made a mistake. you have to look at it in another perspective. you can’t always look at it as the worst thing ever, then you could never be ready for a new future of being pregnant and playing parents. that, after IT happened, it’s not a choice : YOU HAVE TO BE READY. whether you like it or not at first – you bound to love it – it’s going to happen.

i’m not saying this because i over-did-it with my boyfriend and got knocked up or anything. trust me, we’re not doing anything crazy and over the line. but the TV series, for me, is the perfect analogy of what’s going on through in my life.

the year 2009 is coming to a close and, to be honest, i’m not ready to welcome 2010. there are big decisions coming up for me to choose, big bye-bye’s as GRADUATION is near (June ain’t coming slowly, honey! it’ll be fast!), moving day (yes, i’m going to move out of my grandparents’ house), and etcetera. to tell all of you the truth, i’m physically and emotionally not ready for all of those.

i’m not ready yet to grow up for those huge decisions.

something that has been bothering my conscience for a couple of weeks is that i’m not ready to choose and decide anything because i’m afraid that all the new changes will drift me and timothy apart. i’m going to be somewhere and he’s going to be in some place else. we’re not going to see each other as frequent as we are now. i’m just dead scared.

it’s scary for me to think about and predict because it makes me speculate something that even may not happen. it creates emotions in me which are not necessary, they’re emotions based on speculation. i’m know very well that i am the one who is scaring myself.

like timothy said, everything’s going to be all right. i know that and i believe that. i know that i’m mature and capable enough to make my decisions right. i have the most wonderful people by my side, whom i believe to guide me all the way through : JESUS, my family, timothy and his family, erc gleny jesbon, ina, senat, ma’am rini, so many more.

i read my friend’s writing and he said that he believed GOD would never leave His children. so, i’m giving my life to Him. whatever i am doing and going to do is for the greater glory of God. ad maiorem dei gloriam.      

this is a personal reflection. it feels better to write it down. but i feel so guilty that i didn’t tell timothy about this myself. it feels so bad to know that he’s knowing this from my blog. i’m so sorry :’(

Post #338 Announcement

Post #336 About a Friend was deleted because it just reminds me how weak and stupid and worthless i am for trying to be a good person

it makes me sick of being a good person.

SHIT!

Post #337 Something Stupid on Facebook Profile Picture

this is my facebook profile picture

it is stupid and funny because most of the things i wore was mine! let’s start from the top:

1. hair band was given by timothy (well, it’s mine but it was his) :P
2. pink-ish, purple-ish t-shirt is timothy’s
3. little blue hankerchief-towel is almo’s
4. canon 500d (if i’m not mistaken) is abyatar’s
5. (i remember so well) black undies is my mom’s
6. flip-flop sandals is raissa’s

and suddenly, as i move my laptop to my bedroom, i realize something. i have to make and earn money on my own for college and the rest of my life. and i think photography is a good hobby for me to explore. for that i thank timothy’s mom and timothy :) they’ve been so amazing! :)

Post #335 Kind of and Sort of

well, timothy is in MRI right now. checking up and fixing his knee. i don’t know and understand anything about MRI (sounds totally stupid, yea!) so it is reasonable that i am kind of and sort of panic and worried and freak out about it.

constantly thinking about timothy and constantly wooshing away freaky images about the doctor doing super-freaky-might-be-bloody-advance medicinary (isn’t that even a word?).

can’t wait for his call when he gets home later.

to be honest, dear. i really care about you so much. and i am, most of the times, are overly worried. so for that, i’m sorry okay, dear? ily.

Post #334 Watching 90210 Re-Run

the story line is somewhat ridiculous but, what the heck, i’m 17 and i like stupid crappy romances (yea, i said that in public!)

every girl should crave a boyfriend like navid. i mean, he reads pregnancy books and put his world wrapped in adrianna and her soon-to-be-born baby, although he’s not even the baby daddy. well, if you’re 16/17 and pregnant, you’d want your whoever-responsible-for-knocking-you-up to be like navid.

myself – not having sex or a baby – really loves navid. he’s so sweet and caring and romantic and lovable. but he’s just a TV character.

myself having a sweet incredible smart caring loving muscial best rollercoaster love and his name is timothy satyaabieza :)

again and again, truly, i’m with you all the way. you have my support 100%. i love you so much :)

Post #333 A Date Which Will Live in Infamy, Dec 7 1941

President Franklin D. Roosevelt: Yesterday, December 7, 1941—a date which will live in infamy—the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.

The United States was at peace with that nation, and, at the solicitation of Japan, was still in conversation with its government and its emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific. Indeed, one hour after Japanese air squadrons had commenced bombing in the American island of Oahu, the Japanese ambassador to the United States and his colleague delivered to our secretary of state a formal reply to a recent American message. While this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no threat or hint of war or armed attack.

It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time the Japanese government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace.

The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian Islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces. I regret to tell you that very many American lives have been lost. In addition, American ships have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu.

Yesterday the Japanese government also launched as attack against Malaya.

Last night Japanese forces attacked Hong Kong.

Last night Japanese forces attacked Guam.

Last night Japanese forces attacked the Philippine Islands.

Last night Japanese forces attacked Wake Island.

And this morning the Japanese attacked Midway Island.

Japan has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesterday and today speak for themselves. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our nation.

As commander in chief of the Army and Navy I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense. But always will our whole nation remember the character of the onslaught against us. . .

Source: Courtesy of the Franklin D. Roosevelt Library, Hyde Park, New York. [link]

Post #332 Mount Kilimanjaro

jadi ceritanya itu tidak boleh diumbar disini karena tidak boleh. hahaha!

kisah ini menyangkut gleny, jesbon, dan saya. serta beberapa orang lain yang lebih baik tidak ditulis disini demi menjaga nama baik dan reputasi saya (just in case mereka menuntut secara hukum legal atau hukum rimba).

jadi gleny sempat nervous mau menghubungi X untuk keperluan Y yang membutuhkan beberapa Z. nah oleh karena itu, ia meng-sms jesbon apakah ia ke kilimanjaro saja.

skip to the sily part. dalam sebuah pembicaraan telepon antara gleny dan jesbon, jesbon mengatakan bahwa ia tidak tahu-menahu dimana kilimanjaro berada dan mengatakan mungkin di kalimantan.

dalam pembicaraan saya dengan gleny, juga melalui telepon, saya mengira kilimanjaro terdapat di papua nugini atau nepal atau di sekitar krakatau.

ternyata semua tebakan dinyatakan SALAH! setelah berbicara dalam telepon, saya berkata kepada gleny bahwa saya akan mencari tahu dimana letak gunung yang menjadi topik hangat malam minggu kami-kami yang hanya ngamplong di rumah ini. dan akhirnya (jeng jeng jeeeeengg) GOOGLE declared that kilimanjaro is located in TANZANIA!

okeh, begitu ceritanya saudara-saudara, teman-temin. sekarang saya akan nonton HP6 dan menuliskan pesan-pesan untuk kekasih-kekasih hatiku malam ini:

1. timothy and family, CONGRATULATIONS!
2. gleny, good luck for the family gathering tomorrow! LOL! meQuote: aduuuh gleny udah gede yaa sekaraaaaaang!
3. bonjesbon, saya setuju dengan anda : pasti bisa selesai!
4. ercprc, saya dengar anda sedang hibernasi jadi have a sweet sleep tonight and the whole day tomorrow :)

BTW, saya sedang bosan parah dengan yang namanya belajar. dan saya berhasil menyimpulkan bahwa : my school now has better human resources and greater friends and best family. people i love and hate all we are one family; the greatest thing one could ever have. but my previous one, is a better education;  although it’s the best things money can offer, but it also gives practical experiences, of which is way more expensive than what inside the classes. yet, classes all i have right now.

that’s why i’m sort of, kind of bored of studying.

Post #331 Tonight on the Phone

good night, my name is timothy. i am your boyfriend. can i help you, baby?

timothy satyaabieza

i just watched up this morning with erc jesbon gleny at my house and then again. i cried over and over, because the film was incredibly sweet and lovely.

after the film, all i want to do is hug timothy and just tell him how thankful i am for him being in my life. how wonderful he is; making me happy and taking care of me even when i am in my upmost annoying and/or just getting cranky for no apparent reason or making him mad.

he is awesome! most wonderful! kind! smart! adorable! and i love him so much! :)

Post #330 Another Piece of Wishlist

after two-three times watching carrie underwood’s cowboy casanova video on youtube i made another wish list, LOL!

  

yes, i really love black! all images got from looklet and topshop :) they’d all be really nice christmas presents :)

Post #329 I Have The Best Grandparents!!!

well, yesterday when i just got home, my grandmother gave an authentic new still-neatly-in-the-box-with-the-fancy-cover-bag christian dior bag!

OMG! she already has it but never use it so she gave it to me. haha! cooooooollll! i have a dior bag!

to be honest, my school bag (the black one) is prada and i have a cute pink chanel clutch bag. and i’m very proud of them. they’re so cute and adorable :)

and to be more honest, i completely love them. i don’t use or buy uber branded stuff all the time, but i when i got them i am really grateful. i don’t like them because they’re fancy and expensive and exclusive, i like them because they really are beautiful, probably also because i can’t afford to buy such stuff so what i have given to is something really precious to me.

nonetheless, i do nothing but do them good :)

Post #328 The Reason…

… i want to have my mirrors back clean neat and perfect is because when i look at it, i’m not alone.

i have my reflection to look back at me.

it’s sad and desperate, but now : i am.

Post #327 I Guess It’s Me?

i see a girl sitting alone in the dark

her laptop turn on, seem to be working on something important

her lighted cigarette dimmed the darkness, small red light every now and then

her phone ring, but she neither answer nor even care

why would she? no one care about her anyway

 

i see the girl close her eyes

just for a moment, smoke her cigarette

it burns a small red light, close the lid of her laptop

yes, i guess, she was done

her phone ring again, but she neither answer nor even care again

 

i see the girl open her eyes

she cries as she make small clouds out of her cigarette

 

she is not working

her laptop never turn on

her phone never ring

her cigarette never lit

 

no one even care about her anyway

 

why would she care?

why should she live?

why should she dream?

 

she just want things to end

 

she is not dreaming her dream

she is not living her life

she does not even live for herself

 

yea, she lives for others

other who loves her, they say

 

all she want is herself

 

so she lit her cigarette

 

and smoke another one

AGAIN

 

the end

and now she’s dead

Post #236 Big Bang of Mixed-Up Emotions

you feel you’re not wanted anywhere

yes i do feel like that

in this big festivity big party it is like being alienated

and it just grows even more each day

and there is a certain kind of ignorance from a certain rather-leave-unnamed-person

i feel more unwanted

and yes i am sad

Post #325 Is This Thing On? Good. Play.

it is 7:38 pm as i write this sentence, and i already in my pyjamas (read: timothy’s FUCK TERRORIST t-shirt and loose leggings) and i am SOOOOOOOOOOOO SLEEEEEEPPPPY. so i’m going to post two more looklets then call timothy then go to bed.

aren’t they cute? well, i think so :) the first one got inspired from karolina kurkova :)

 

well, if you read my last tweet for today on the right side panel and understand. i’m not going to apologize ever. i really am happy and excited and so supportive no matter what :)

Post #323 Looklet Again!

oh, now, i have a craving to be a stylist (like my style any good at all *sigh*). well, i don’t think that i dress soo badly. i dress good, i guess. especially lately, on few events, i managed NOT TO WEAR JUST SHIRT and JEANS.

my latest favorite was GONZAGA OPEN HOUSE day 2 (where i ate a lot lot lot of food!). we have to wear batik so i wore my grandfather batik shirt tighten with a batik belt (i have a very cool cute batik belt) and my ONE AND ONLY skinny. (i apologize to my friends, you all already saw it sooooo many times. but that’s the only one i have; can’t afford a new one right now).

looklet is a place where i can freely combine things i like (and want to have and wear). yea, someday i wish i can have those clothes. it’s all very lovely :) these are few of my creations:

well, i’m going to post some later. oh my gosh, those are beautiful clothes. want to have ‘em :)

Post #322 Kenapa Ngga Mati Aja Sekalian?

anjing! hari kedua di rumah = breaking point! i’m about to die of boredom!

gue pengen marah-marah terus. ada yang tau ngga sih rasanya, berhari-hari cuma disuruh tidur doang di rumah? mau nyari kerjaan biar ngga bosen, disuruh tidur. giliran udah tidur, dibangunin disuruh makan. gimana ngga bawaannya pengen marah? TAIK! ANJING! BRENGSEK! gue bosaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan parah kenapa ngga mati aja sekalian?

pas udah baikan dikit, tiba-tiba sakitnya kambuh parah. ke dokter lagi, hasilnya beda. antara gue komplikasi, ganti penyakit, atau dokternya yang goblok. ANJING!

i’m super bored, super lonely, super mad, super sad, super want to get out of the house.

dan orang-orang yang malah meng-update kejadian apapun yang sedang terjadi di sekolah dimana pun, atau apapun yang bakal dilakukan hari ini, malam ini, besok; SEJUJURNYA, TIDAK MENGHIBUR!

Post #321 Recipe for a Nice Disaster

well, i’m not going to talk about disasters. my dear liver is already disastrous. it’s just sound perfect as an eye-catching blog title :P

i’ve been changing my hair treatment and now, finally, i find the perfect combination.

1. shampoo : dove hairtherapy (for dry hair and dandruff occasionally).
2. conditioner : dove dry hairtherapy
3. music-therapy : mozart for babies before bed and michael jackson every morning and SORE every afternoon nap

i wash my hair every afternoon, so i go to bed with light hair. and in the morning i roll up my bangs for about 30minutes. those treatments actually make me feel good about myself after. those music are also good for the hair. even in the worst humidity, my hair rarely go bad during naps/sleep listening to them.

i just got off the phone with timothy’s mum, she was really nice asking me and offering me help about my dear disastrous liver. i love her so much :) i feel happier than before. it’s so nice, i just can’t stop smiling. it sounds crazy, but… i don’t know what to say more. she’s awesome! the most awesome!!

i still pissed that i’m sick and the fact that I HAVE TO STAY HOME until MONDAY! i’m just so sad that my friends had worked really hard for gonzaga festival, and i can’t be there. now, i just want to rest so i can enjoy and be there for timothy’s special work day : GONZAGA FESTIVAL CLOSING. it’s his special day, i want to be there; so i have to be better by then.

thank you so much : Jesus, my grandparents, tante ine, timothy, everybody :)

Post #320 The Best Thing About Not Going to School

is you don’t get tired. you get bored, but not tired.

today, i’m sick so i’m not going to school. the doctor said my liver is f*cking sensitive and i need not to be tired. the area where my liver is PAINFULLY PAINFUL and, yes, come to think of it, timothy is right. i’m not in a tip-top shape for GF. :’(

so, i am entertaining myself by making a wishlist

1.   a panda
2.   timothy satyaabieza’s hugs
3. BUBUR AYAAAAAAM!
4. a cold beer
5. go back to bed :)

Post #319 Gonzaga Festival 2009 : Opening

it went well, but damn shit i am sick! (i’m using present tense as i am still sick right now; please get well soon my precious liver). i was sick so i went home waaay earlyyyyy!

i got sick almost immediately after the opening ceremony ended. exactly, i think, when timothy was done with his work for today. then, i fell drop dead in room 4.

i cried a bit when i was told (actually being convinced) that i am sick. but, timothy took a really good care of me; I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUUUUUUUUUCCCCCHHHHHHH!

over all, opening was great. GFPS did well for opening. but one thing i am MOST DISAPPOINTED : somebody misspelled SEMINARI WACANA BHAKTI on the defile board. and today is KOLESE GONZAGA and SWB’s 22nd birthday. i was, truthfully, terribly sad for it. it’s a small thing, but for me, it’s important. it’s a name; it’s something you’re known for. maybe yes, you can’t see it from afar, but just please next time EVERYBODY look at the smallest details.

personally, i don’t think that GF opening (although it’s superb) was an appropriate way to celebrate gonz and wb’s birthday. GF is big, it’s cool and i’m very supportive of it all the way.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEMINARI WACANA BHAKTI AND KOLESE GONZAGA!

Post #318 Ever Since This Morning…

… i really want to COOK! and i did this morning. i woke up a little extra early and took a fast bath. and then i cooked a plate of spaghetti special for timothy! :)

i really love when the salty sweet smell flew all around the kitchen. leave it up and put the sauce in a plastic, then got ready for school. after that, packed it all in a lunchbox and then inside a paper bag.

i felt really happy cooking for timothy :)

Post #317 Morning Sickness

noooooooooooooooo, not because i’m pregnant. but my stomach is just being naughty these past couple of hours (read : 5hrs). i woke up at 3 in the morning because my stomach really hurts and i want to hug timothy. after two minutes, realizing that my stomach hurts not because i’m hungry.

wish : i want to eat mushroom cream soup with bread and then do nothing all day.

reality : i have to walk to the supermarket to buy me a mushroom cream soup and cook it by myself and do the math homework.

right now : hot tea with honey and blogging :)

i really do want to hug timothy. LOL, hugs and kisses maduuu!

Post #316 To Be Selfish

I WANT 112 MINUTES WITHOUT SCHOOL, WITHOUT TASKS, WITHOUT EXAMS, WITHOUT MATH, WITHOUT GONZAGA FESTIVAL, WITHOUT PHONE CALLS, WITHOUT SMS, WHITOUT FIGHTS, WHITOUT ANY OTHER SHITS TO WATCH MICHAEL JACKSON’S THIS IS IT.

and then i’ll do whatever anyone asks me (nicely) to do.

can i just want something which is important to me? this may sound silly and/or stupid, but i just want something i consider important to be treated with respect.

i want to watch it so badly because my grandfather and i both love MJ so much. and i think that’s very sweet. and i really want to watch it, so bad. that’s why it is important to me to watch it.

i’m crying right now, L.

Post #315 I’m Really Hungry Right Now

even though i had eaten a lot of food today. i actually still have a craving for ketupat sayur and pempek (is this how it spelled? although i’m fuckin’ allergic to this beautifully made traditional palembang cuisine) and mie gajah mada and timothy’s pancakes and erwin’s mie ayam and tamani cafe’s lobsters and american grill’s steaks and swekiaw  and hakau!

i actually promised myself during my bath two minutes ago, if i ever get a paycheck for teaching at SMP PJ i want to buy myself a lunch box (hopefully a pink one) and bring my own lunch to school (and wake up earlier to make my own lunch; duh, i have to do that on my own). and give the rest of the money to gonzfest (yea, like it’s ever going to happen! i did that last year. oh, how evil i am being now). i’d like to give it to my grandpa to help pay my UPH second (and last) payment installment, no matter how much or little it is.

and i want to share this : "’an old friend” of mine came by for a surprisingly a little uncomfortable visit. not that i dislike you or anything (trust me, i really do like you), but as i promised we’re never going to see each other again. okay? it’s for my own good and, most importantly, my own wallet’s good. you’re a little bit high-maintenance. we have to part and, surely, i’m making myself not going to miss you. i never miss you for the last 3years. i can live another 3eternities.

_______________________________

this blog is mine, my intention is only to entertain. mostly being entertained is myself, but if you do i’m thankful. you readers have the rights to read, comment, feel, or to speculate over what i wrote. but you are not to critique, this or myself. this is a private matter to myself i decided to share with you readers; there are no right or wrong. you may not judge. i am fully responsible for what i write here. but it is most definitely not you business to make a fuss out of it.

be a responsible reader, as i am with my writings.

Post #314 Something

is hidden for me and i’m being lied to.

Post #313 D*MN!

last night, after timothy’s phone call i downloaded the most wonderful thing in the world : pyotr ilyich tchaikovsky’s album of the nutcracker suite, the swan lake, and sleeping beauty; and all the music scores!

the night before, i downloaded every mozart music scores possible.

it’s kinda crazy, it’s kinda addictive. yes, that’s true and i’m honestly addicted to missing playing :)

Post #312 First and Last One Today

this is, i guess, a prayer

i miss playing so bad and i want to do so.

i’ve been so sad and so lost these few days. reading old music scores and new ones, helped me went through it all a lot.

i want to play, now and forever more! :)

saung angklung udjo : children are music itself

Friedrich Nietzsche : without music, life is a mistake

Post #311 Again and Again, It Is Always SO D*MN F*cking Right!

hello there everybody!

i don’t know about you, but the little quotation box on the right panel of my blog IS ALWAYS RIGHT. at least, it is so relevant with what’s going on in my life, EACH AND EVERY DAY. sometimes i think it’s sweet but most of the times i just think that IT IS SUPER ANNOYING.

i’ve had enough talking to a machine (read : telephone and cell phones), chatting my time up on my laptop, writing this blog on my laptop, and seeing people thru webcams. not that i despise those ways, NO! it’s a revolution of communication techniques! but i just have had enough talking to a machine and i don’t want a machine (even if i do call my VAIO CR323 “baby”) to analyze and know who i am. even though it is incidental and is a matter of luck.

but, damn it : this blog is soooooo lucky!

shit, i love you my dear semangkuk mie ayam dan es teh manis, L.

Post #310 Okay, Thought It’s Over but It’s Not!

well, that’s how life rolls : it’s unfair and it’s confusing and it’s fuckin’ unpredictable.

all i dream of is studying in netherlands. now, it’s on my grip, it’s right in front of my eyes. i’ve got an interview with the hague university. but for, even when it is right in front of me, it would still be a dream.

IRONY! damn it!

maybe it’s not my time yet.

timothy, for the thousandth times CONGRATULATIONS! i know you’ll know what to do. it is your future, you know it best :) i love you, L.

Post #309 Chat with Khairina Anindya

she’s my best friend, so close and i really miss her so much!

when we get together, all we do is read each other’s inbox from each other’s boyfriend. so fun! and eat, a WHOLE LOT of food. it’s scary when we eat :P

anyway, this is the conclusion of what we chatted (in indonesian, it is meaner in indonesian) :

masalah kepanitiaan TOSCA, G@LaXee POINDEXTER, dan GonzFest (terutama yang recently curhat juga) itu SAMAAAAAAAA AJAAAAAA!

hahahahahaha, seru juga na kita curhat2an. we have to do this more often, and i really miss our sleepovers. it’s my turn, my house :)

gue inget waktu graduation selesai lo bilang gini ke gue, na : luna ngga usah ke gonz (sambil nangis).

dan untuk lo gue jalan kaki dari kantor gue sampe harvest dan bela2in naik angkot buat kue lo! hahaha, i love you more than anything na! hehehe

satu hal yang gue sesalin di gonz : i don’t get to spend high school with you.

sedang kangen parah sama lo naaaaaaa!

Post #308 The Greatest Words Come When You’re on the Deepest Down

i don’t want to laugh when all i want to do is cry.

i don’t want to hold my cry because i have to be the shoulder to cry on.

i want to be human.

laugh when i’m happy.

cry when i’m sad.

angry when i’m mad.

lately, i’ve not been doing so.

okay, this is only an intermezzo. this is how i feel right now. it feels like everything balled up in to one huge atomic bomb, ticking to blow up any second. i don’t want another breakdown. i had it, three years ago. it’s the worst feeling of my life.

i just want to be heard. i’m not used to talking to people about my feeling. i can’t do that, even to the most closest people of my life. i was raised knowing it’s a shame to open who i am. that does not make me feel like a human being.

as brave, as tough, as whatever people see me; they’re just feelings smartly conjured up to not show that i’m really afraid.

i know i’m not alone, but i'm just not used to talking to other people how i feel. if i’m asked about it, i feel like being pressured doing something i don’t want to do.

i’m weird. no, the right term is : i have a lot of problems and i can’t open myself to clear it up. damn!

Post #307 I Told You, No Matter What

I’ll Stand By You by Carrie Underwood

Oh why you look so sad
The tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don’t be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
Cause I’ve seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
So if you're mad get mad
Don’t hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide
I get angry too
Well I’m a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
Cause even if you're wrong
I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Take me in into you darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you
And when, when the night falls on you, baby
You feeling all alone
You won't be on your own
I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Take me in into you darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you
Oh I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you

________________________________

i’ve told you once and i tell you again : i’m with you all the way, no matter what.

so here’s the deal : i trust you, you trust me. don’t misuse that. we support each other :)

well, at least that is what i’m proposing. i love you, okay? really do.

timothy satyaabieza :)

Post #306 The Most Wonderful Way to End My Day(s)

i was browsing levi gunardi and somehow it led to sore’s album centralismo article in time magazine and i got linked to a photo-essay about kids’ books come to life and i nearly cried. they are the most wonderful stories and the most amazing movies (except for jumanji, i guess. it’s a dreadful scary thing to watch).

and i really want to watch the 1974 musical : The Little Prince and more wanting than ever to read its original book in French. one day perhaps.

 

yea, one thing surely have got to be done before i die : i read the whole book in French or have somebody read it to me in French.

Post #305 The Entertainer

song composed by Scott Joplin.

when i was still in YPM about grade elementary or 1, i used the room at the very corner on the first floor right below the backstage of the amir pasaribu concert hall. in while playing my music, i used to hear this song played by either levi gunardi or the senior students.

and then, i worked really hard to get to grade 4 where they play all the cool classic songs to play that song. when i got to that grade, i wasn’t given that song. to this day, i never play that song. my teacher told me it wasn’t really my style. i had got to agree, when i got to grade 4 eventually, it was actually something i would play. i hear, yes. play, not really.

i was given blue danube instead. lovely song.

it was a bittersweet experience being a student there. i missed it.

Post #304 Morning Day Sunday

i’m questioning myself : who i am, how people look at me, and how i treat other people.

i’ve changed. i’m not a good person.

i’m sad :’(

Post #303 Yearbook 21 : About to be Cover

going to be edited soon :) working on it!

Post #302 GONZAGA FESTIVAL : Registrasi

Post #301 This Day is Dated October 6th 2009

first of all, i would like to say thank you Jesus Christ for all of Your guidance and blessings that i made it this far to the finish line and got the scholarship. i’m an UPH scholar.

special thanks to my grandparents, my mother and sister (i guess), timothy and his family : i really don’t know how to thank all of you; timothy thank you for taking me there and really be there with me on the interview, erc gleny jesbon : you guys are the best friends!, ceno (he said i’m gonna get it, thanks), ma’am rini for the amazing pep talk and support, bu wara for the application form and a whole lot of smiles, pak him for checking my essay, and all of the people who wonderfully helped me along the way.

i have only one way to thank you guys : i’m going to do this right and be the best! they ask for IP 1.25, i’m going to give them 3,25 at least!!

i’m crying right now. i wanted to cry since this morning and really wanted to when abe came over to my house (i just horribly messed up before). he really is the best, i’m sure of that. undeniably, he is a wonderful person. i’m glad he’s my best friend and i get to fall in love with him :)

it’s a wonderful letter the mailman gave to me, L.

Post #300 OOOOOooooooooooo YYYyyyyeeeeaaaah! Ver. 3.0

this is the third time i’ve written this post. first and second times i wanted to write about PJ. but after few important things happening in my life these last few days, there are better things to be posted!

1. i love timothy satyaabieza :) he’s such wonderful best friend. and if possible, i don’t want to fight with you, honey :):)
2. me and my friends have been working very hard on the upcoming Gonzaga Study Tour for the year 12 students. i hope they really like it and it is going to be a memorable and exciting and fun trip. oh, and i really love the yellow strap the committee going to wear. ncis (christian natasaputra; it’s easier pronounced ncis :P) wanted it to be bright colored and recognizable. i said yellow. after few persuasion, he said yes. hehe :)
3. friday night, my grandfather’s phone (motorolla V3) was stolen in an angkot (damn you public transportation of indonesia. unsafe and can’t be trusted in everyway: the driving, bureaucracy, security, convenience, the facility, EVERYTHING!). so he blocked his number. after two days of *probably* depressed and thinking, today (sunday 4/10) he went out around 8 am (i just woke up) and got home sometimes before 2 pm (i just woke up again).  he got home with a motorolla smartphone (which i acknowledge as motorolla’s BB). LOL! he is such a funny guy! :P and it is not as expensive as i thought it would be. it worth just a couple thousand more than mine. and it’s black
4. oh, this morning, ceno asked me if i’m okay. it’s nice, thanks for asking :) but why? hehe..

it’s a nice H-3!

Post #299 A Person

i know that someone is hiding something from me.

it makes me sad but i forgive that person for doing so. that person has reasons.

i am really hurt but i trust that person. so i forgive that person.

this ends here, let’s never mention it again: it is hidden from me. right?

Post #298 GunVein!

GunVein live in Revive II @the green kemang, jumat 2 oktober.

Watch and Vote for GunVein!

more info www.myspace.com/GUNVEIN

Post #297 How Was Your Day, Dear?

i am really sleepy right now and about to sleep. my eyes are soooo heavy i don’t think i can wake up tomorrow.

this morning, before exam, abe (a little bit forced :P) and i did the praying. for me, it’s really special. really special :)

Post #296 It Died Before I Had The Chance to Save It

t’s a sad moment for me about three minutes before i started writing this post. so, let’s take a moment for a second to mourn, okay?

what the hell did i mourn for? a very close personal acquaintance of mine died three minutes ago. we were frenemies; from the start to the end, i guess, to right now as well. forever and ever, i am going to hate that beloved acquaintance of mine.

okay, i was being hyperbolic. it did not die or anything. but it just pissed me off to the max.

that beloved/hated acquaintance of mine is adobe photoshop. i was using it to doodle a design for my friend’s 17th birthday party invitation. i had the brushes, resources, and most important : the concept all set up and ready. i started drawing and error occurred (you know those times using windows, when programs just stop responding and it had to stop? yeaa! that occurred!).

i already made the front and back cover and was in the middle of creating the insides when it happened. i was reading a real life passport for ideas (it’s a tourist themed party) when it happened. so total there were three designs and i had not saved all of them. and it just closed.

d*mn!

you’ve been hit by a smooth criminal

smooth criminal by michael jackson

Post #295 I am a Person Who

1. can’t sit still for more than 10minutes (this is true, i’ve cheked)
2. (related to number 1) can’t sit still silently for more than 20minutes
3. can’t live without snacks and sweets
4. loves soft music played loudly and loud music played softly
5. is sorry for being too cranky these couple of hours :’(

Post #294 The Last 3hrs Before This was Written…

… i have been writing my research proposal.

i am researching about language. it interests me. it excites me. but it is so f***ing complex and boring.

why?

because, in the place where i am (read : gonz) is definitely going to make a damn fuss over each and every word written which eventually lead to an utterly pointless meaningless debate over NOTHING!

words are just words. READ BETWEEN THE LINES. sometimes i don’t think certain people (PLURAL) are mature enough to do so and just read what’s written.

what essential is invisible to the eyes

i’m sorry, i’m just too bored to think calmly.

Post #293 I L U

timothy, happy 3or4 months or whatever monthlyversary we are in right now!

that' doesn’t matter, they’re just numbers and (as my favorite book, my lovely little prince would say) grown-ups love numbers, let grown-ups think about it.

well, thank you for these couple of months. i’m really happy having you supporting me. and FYI, you have my support 100% no matter what :)

although, few weeks ago all we did was fight all week long. i cried, you were mad. but we went thru it, together. :)

you are one very special guy and i love you!

and, you’d make one hell of a canadian :P GOOD LUCK, LOVE!

Post #292 You Belong With Me!

YOU BELONG WITH ME by TAYLOR SWIFT

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, She's upset
She's going off about something that you said
She doesnt get your humour like I do
I'm in the room, its a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesnt like
And she'll never know your story like I do
But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming bout the day when you'll wake up and find
That what you're lookin for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
You belong with me
Walkin the streets with you in your worn out jeans
I cant help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on the park bench thinkin to myself
Hey isnt this easy?
And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I havent seen it in awhile, since she brought you down
You say you find I know you better than that
Hey, Whatcha doing with a girl like that?
She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming bout the day when you'll wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
Standin by, waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that?
You belong with me
You belong with me
Oh I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry
I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me.
Can't you see that I'm the one who understand you?
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
Standing by or waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that
You belong with me
You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me
You belong with me

i heart this song!

Post #291 I am Soooo Tweeting This!

okay, this post may not sounds like me but this is really truly how i feel

1. i suddenly have a craving for blackberry! bold to be precise. haha! this really weirds me out because i don’t like the thing. but i’m girl who is easily fascinated by technology (i thank grandpa for introducing technology toooooo early in my life LOL!)
2. okay, the second one is sony ericsson X1 XPERIA! hahaha, again blame grandpa for the over excessive craving for technology (i’m a total tech-geek!).
3. macbook air! do i need an explanation here? NO, duh!
4. all the clothes on my looklet page! esp. onenightout, it’saneventtogoto, oh just everything!
5. i want to know how to dance like MICHAEL JACKSON and i want to create and design an event like LADY GAGA’s performance on MTV VMA 2009!

see, LOL a lot!

and i just read this on gonzaga festival twitter : GonzFest09TELAH DIBUKA AUDISI BAND GONZAGA FESTIVAL 2009! CONTACT ABBE (085716184229)!! SMS & CALL 24/7 nonstop..

so, please contact and audition! but please, DO NOT CALL 24/7 :P if somebody does, when will i get to call him? or he gets to call me? LOL again! btw, i had a feeling that erc wrote it. that’s how she writes his name.

Post #290 Scribbles and Doodles

this post, as the title shows, is just something to fill up this blog. okay? LOL!

as you can see from previous blogposts that my favorite book is the little prince. i am not going to explain why it is my favorite book :)

in my life i only had one flower given to me, rara gave me a red flower with a long green stem (i don’t know what the hell it is called) on valentine’s day 2008. i like that flower, it is cute. but my favorite flower is yellow daisy. it is bright and adorable. so if anybody were to give me one, i love you! haha!

i am listening to you belong with me by taylor swift. her songs are always so sweet and relatable my life :) i just heard this song yesterday (sat, 19 september 2009) watching MTV VMA’s and the first person came to my mind was timothy satya abieza. hehe :) and yesterday as well, is probably our first saturday-night out.. haha! it’s always monday-nights, sunday-nights, or thursday-nights with us and last night was fun :) went to didut’s surprise birthday party, drop gleny off at her house, just a nice drive the two of us :)

*fair warning : this is my blog, i can write anything i want to write here! this shouldn’t matter to anyone, because all of this is most special for me*

now, i am going to bed. i bid my goodnight and have a goodnight!

Post #289 You’ve Got a Message

here is how it went:

bell rang, went to abe’s class to tell him something really important, got emotional and cried, went to ma’am Rini and did an oral test, went to moderator to print YB21 layout schedule, took phone out of pocket to take a picture of the schedule, there was a message and it read :

INFO UPH, u/ Jadwal interview beasiswa, atas nama LAURENZIA LUNA pada hari Jumat, 18 Sept 09 (BESOK LUSA) jam 14.00-14.15, Gd. E lntai 2, ruang 201. Ketidak hadiran saudara pada saat interview DIANGGAP MENGUNDURKAN DIRI. Terima kasih. Sender UPH.

after that i went to YB21 meeting at room 20. jesbon erc gleny were on the front (they’re the big guys of YB and YV 21: really going to work hard to support them:) ) and i told them i got the interview and gave conratulations. and then i got congratulation(s) from abe :) iloveyou, madu.

and before i went home, danu gave me a job to be Gonzaga Open House liaison officer and i’ve been aftering that job since forever and i got it :) i’m going to be the tour guide, hehehe :)

hehe, the end of this school day turned out great.

oh, and on the English oral test, this happened

Ma’am Rini (MR) : re-tell the story of King Midas without reading.

Luna (L) : *re-told the story of King Midas, without reading*

some Q&A’s

MR : next, what is the synonym of mercy?

L : mercy?umm, thank you (merci = French).

MR : *laughed* is that your final answer?

L : yes, the synonym is thank you.

MR : *still laughed*

L : wait, that’s in french. *looked stupid*

MR : *laughed some more* okay, that’s enough. that’s it, thank you.

 

it was really weird and embarrassing. haha!

terima kasih Tuhan Yesus, L.

Post #288 Please!

i hate that the quotations on the right side panel is always right-timed!

Post #287 I Cry Myself to Sleep Tonight

it’s so sad.

PERGI TANPA PESAN by SORE

Jauh perjalanan
mencari intan pujaan
aduhai
dimana puan
mengapa pergi tanpa pamitan
Lembah kuturuni
bukit nan tinggi ku daki
aduhai
Tak kunjung jumpa
mengapa hilang tak tentu rimba
Laut hempaskan ku padanya
bintang tunjukkan arah
oh angin bisikkanlah malam ini
Hati cemas bimbang
harapan timbul tenggelam
aduhai
permata hati
mungkinkah kelak berjumpa lagi
Oh angin bisikkanlah malam ini
Hati cemas bimbang
harapan timbul tenggelam
permata hati
mungkinkah kelak bersua lagi

not the song (well the song is a little bit saddening).

i wrote about having a bad feeling that something bad that’s going to happen, the feeling still with me. something really bad is going to happen. i don’t know what (well duh! if i know what it is, why would i be really worried?) but i know that i don’t want to be alone if something bad does happen.

i’m so sorry if i do anything wrong or cause that hurt anybody’s feelings or anything. and also thank you so much, for everybody in everything. i am so thankful.

i’m sad and scared; and if tell anybody it would just cause worries and i don’t want to do that. so please don’t take this emotionally or seriously.

i’m no good at telling anybody about how i feel or expressing how i feel because i never know how to. i just know how to listen to people. i just know how to put other people first, before myself. i’m alone because i make myself lonely.

and i’m really good at making sure people don’t hear or see me crying. i am a really troubled person. i’m 17 and all i want to be is a kid; because i never know how it feels to be one.

but i was too young to know how to love her – the little prince

phone, please ring; L.

Post #286 Just Plain Crazy!

okay, i was a little bit crazy (read : normal) at school today that means i got my groove back and now ready for work!

i had so much fun today @moderator lip-syncing to jackson 5’s i want you back and, basically, impersonating michael jackson (tried his Motown 25 Billie Jean performance but failed: OF COURSE!). and i also i made my own signature moonwalk (read : obviously-empty headedly walk backwards). 

and today suddenly out of nowhere i want to learn french just to read the original version of antoine de saint exupery’s the little prince. but i guess, this is the kind of idea that comes and goes every once in a while. but really, i want to learn french just because of that reason. there’s nothing wrong with that, right? wait, why am i asking you? this is what i want! big LOL!

yes ladies and gentlemen whoever read this awesomely written blog of mine, i publicly announce that i do have an addiction to saint exupery’s the little prince. it is ultimately the best book ever written. on one side it’s a children’s book which children can understand very easily. but behind the easy part, the big philosophy of life is brought up very well by saint exupery.

to add another happiness in this gleeful day: i’m in a really good mood today and good hair day too!

Post #285 Hehe

i am listening to a very sweet french song : hymne a l’amour and my studying-french boyfriend called to say goodnight.

je t’aime timothy

Post #284 I Should be Doing

Bu Irma’s homework but I AM SO BORED and TIRED and SLEEPY!

i really don’t want to do it, i want to go to bed!

and btw, i just found out that the history paper ought to be submitted tomorrow!

quoted from abe: fucking insane!

Post #283 FI…NAL…LY !

it has been a very long long long long long long time since i blog (for me this is relatively a long time). and i am really sleepy right now, i won’t write so much (what?! LOL!)

quoted from the little prince : two billions grown ups.

am i one of the two billions?

a. yes (OMFG!)

b. no (am i going to be one?)

i am on the edge of breaking down, REALLY TRULY! on monday i had a meet up with PDXT for a very great friend, Aryo’s farewell. he got a scholarship to USA. hanging out with the guys (literally, i was the only girl) made me missed PDXT so so much and i want to be with them.

sadly, it effects my life. it shouldn’t be, but i am bothered. thinking about missing PDXT overwhelmed my life in Gonzaga. that is why i can’t enjoy anything that is happening at gonz. sad, for me it is very sad, but it is happening.

what i miss most is the most marvelous group of friends you can think of : ina riandita irma aditr yuki aryo gigi revfi manda peng cath tama senna (yang ini tergolong i miss you banget!) janu (ini jugaaa!) sarah

auk ah, pokoknya 103 anak PDXT aja deh.

but, i have to be realistic and reasonable and open-minded : i enjoy PDXT very well with all the dramas and i love gonzaga as well. both got to be balanced, even tough i only meet PDXT on a very small proportion of time.

and to be fair : timothy, i miss you!

Post #282 Seakan

Kehilangan semangat untuk segalanya.

Post #281 Suddenly Stylist

honestly i do not know what got in to me and all i have been doing since gleny woke me up this morning around 9 is playing looklet. and to be more honest, it is so fun playing dress up :P haha!

btw, jazz revolution project just auditioned for tarphrodite and i really hope we get the gig. and if we do get it, i really hope that the officials will be more professional than what they did on revive (on behalf of Jr.P i’d apologize for being tardy).

and this is what i did :

Post #280 Percobaan Nomor Sekian Kedua

enjoy er :)

Post #279 Percobaan Nomor Sekian

sisi2 hitam di atas, kiri, kanan, dan bawah adalah perkiraan bagian yang terjilid / terpotong ketika pencetakan. dan saya sudah sangat mandek. dan yang ada fotonya sedang dalam proses : percobaan nomor sekian kedua.

Post #278 Pernyataan Atas Post #272

how i feel (or : i am feeling) is probably the same as how Antoine de Saint-Exupery felt when the Little Prince left earth. to be more exact, how the Little Prince felt when he left earth.

he was afraid to leave but he had to.

it’s hard to see a friend you came close with to leave – go so very far away - or literally dies. that’s how i feel.

and i am worrying something that might not even happen. but it so sad, because both people – including myself – want it to happen. it’s just i shouldn’t be sad over it. it’s hard but i shouldn’t be sad.

Post #277 Laksanakan.

erc's blogpost

in the end of our high school days you can :

a) whine and complain and whine some more for perfection you could’ve done yourself.

b) feel very proud that kolese gonzaga class of 2010 loves the yearbook you help make.

it’s your choice. i already made mine : B.

Post #276 Ooops! Curcol versi 2.0

misa perdana 7 orang pastor jebolan seminari wacana bhakti dan/atau kolese gonzaga

i was so happy today that finally (after a long time) i could have a mass with erc and gleny. although i’m quite (read : so very) disappointed towards the students. as one of the students, i am disappointed in myself as well.

seven of our alumni (okay, maybe only two of them actually went to gonzaga) were being celebrated and celebrating for the blessings God had given them in particular, but the students were not being supportive. they (maybe we) were not showing that we cared and compassion is one of the values collegian live up to.

i am not going to mention one by one what we did that was not compassionate but i do want to apologize; on behalf of myself and all of my friends whom i love dearly.

i am not too happy right now. and i can’t just shook it off and say “yaudalah yaa”

Post #275 Jesbon’s Birthday!

jesbon dengan hadiahnya : si winnie the pooh

*sayang blur, tapi ini satu2nya foto hehe* kartu ucapan selamat ulang tahun buat jesbon. yang nulis : andriy gleny abieza luna danoe erc hagi au nico raissa icha eva pater.alis batara james :)

Post #274 I Scream for Ice Cream

it is two months after we ate mcflurry caramel and sundae :)

sekarang, aku pengen ice cream lagi :P aaaaaaaaa, sayang! iloveyou.

haagen dazs’ caramel cone

haagen dazs’ pistacchio

 

hersey’s creamy chocolate and caramel

 

a&w’s chocolate waffle

i’m really hungry. iloveyou.

Post #273 Sekedar Pernyataan

saya senang dan bangga menjadi seorang anggota senat kolese gonzaga

saya yakin saya pasti bisa lulus UN dan US dengan hasil yang membahagiakan saya dan orang-orang yang saya kasihi

saya yakin saya pasti bisa mendapat beasiswa Universitas Pelita Harapan

saya yakin dengan apa yang Tuhan Yesus rencanakan pada saya

Post #272 Curcol : Curahat Colongan 21.08.2009

sebuah coret2an di sketch book saya. di bagian kanan agak terpotong, tolong maafkan scanner saya yang setelah 6kali mencoba scan tetap saja hasilnya terpotong begitu (saya masih belum memaafkan).

ini adalah mars kolese gonzaga.

___________________________________________________________________________________

i realized something this afternoon. not a good something – this is why i’m suddenly not in a good mood and really sad. and i should not be sad.

here is my explanation :

…

…

…

to be honest, i can’t write it here or anywhere. it’s just too overwhelmingly sad. i shouldn’t be sad. i felt like this before and it ended badly. i don’t want this time to end badly as well. i’ll do the same though : be supportive no matter what. absolutely 100%.

then, we’ll see.